You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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