At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
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