there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
