i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
