i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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