I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
