We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
