I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Randomize
