I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
