so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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