Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
