Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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