Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
