i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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