Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
