here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
