so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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