Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
