stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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