I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
