why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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