Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
