I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
