hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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