today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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