Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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