I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
