girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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