i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize