Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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