I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
