goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
