Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
