margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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