well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
