Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Someone came in the potted fern
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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