are you so shy because you have an std?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
