its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
