Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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