I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
