what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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