holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
