'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
