last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
