i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
