Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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