is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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