just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
