She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
