Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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