I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
