I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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