guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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