Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
