I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They took my balls.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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