fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
