I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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