But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
