her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
