Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
