put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
