she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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