Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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