i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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