I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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