There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
