Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
