all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
