Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Come on in and take your pants off
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